Changing Roles

 I’d heard it told when I was younger that we change roles as we age, but never much thought about it. I was “me” and how could I be anyone else?  Life happens, though, as much as we don’t want it to, it happens and often hits us hard. God gives us the grace to come through these times and makes us strong enough to become something else.

 Life has bulldozed me lately.  I have been left not knowing who I am or what I would come to be.  Still, God does not forget me.  As my roles have changed, my loved ones have not.  Those who are part of my circle have remained the same and have remained beside me.  Today another package came that I didn’t remember ordering.  My husband, the love of my life, just shrugged his shoulders and laughed.  One of my dearest friends shared an equally embarrassing story about what happened to her when she was ill and taking drugs that compromised her decision making.  It made me feel so much better.   All of my life I have held my intelligence as a strength. These treatments have diminished that intellect.  God says it is ok.  I have other strengths.  I’m lovable even as a ditz.

 It makes me think that I will continue to change as I grow older.  I hope I stay somewhat sharp.  I hate that feeling that I’m somehow missing the party.  Paul will change too.  We will continue to lean on one another.  God’s plan in marriage is beautiful that way.  Hopefully, we’ll have a few kids to look after us as well!!

 I finally feel like I’m coming out of this season of my life.  It has been SO HARD!!  I have learned compassion and empathy.  I hope God will soon show me how to use these characteristics to benefit others.  I know that my experiences will do good. God won’t let such hardship go to waste, but it is hard not to be angry.  I know that is not in the will of my Lord.

 I am a new person. Too much has happened to keep me the same as I was.  My greatest hope is that the change is for the better and that I have learned to endure the hardship that comes as part of everyone’s life.  I know who my friends are and who loves me.  That is a real gift!  Now I seek to be a friend to those around me who need me as much as I needed them.