Emotions, Mind, Soul

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

                                     Romans 8:6

 I apologize at the beginning of this post because I do not know if it is completely Biblical in its expression of the ideas I have had.  I am putting it in writing because the idea came to me so unexpectedly and remained with me so forcefully.  I have learned in the past that these ideas need to be written down and examined.

 Anyway, I was out in my car the other day, thinking about a conversation I had had with my husband about the possible side effects of ECT.  We have been through this before, and I did have a difficult time with my memory for a long while afterward.  There are still long-term memories that I haven’t retrieved, but hey, I am 57 years old!  It would be odd if I wasn’t losing a little!

 The ideas that came to me pertained to ECT and recent spiritual struggles I have been going through. I found myself following Jesus because that was what I knew I should be doing, not because I wanted to.  I had a long talk with another friend and my pastor about this and came to some resolution here.  Basically, I hadn’t let Jesus beyond my defenses, and I let my mind reason that there was no way he could love me.  I was so wrong, and I let my mind deceive me.  

 Back to the car.  I was thinking about how deceptive my emotions could be and how they could make me believe things that were false.  Same for my rational mind.  What were they deceiving, and how was I able to overcome the erroneous input into myself?  That’s the key word:  myself.

 Who is myself?  I am a soul, created by God.  I am created to love and be loved by God through Christ. Whereas my mind and emotions are physical and part of my decaying body, my soul is itself, sometimes influenced by ideas and emotions, but not physical and not subject to decay and death.

 Therefore, we strive to keep our mind and our emotions healthy and whole.  While ECT will affect me by solidifying my emotions and possibly stressing my mind, it cannot touch my soul.  I can go into the treatment knowing that if I had the worst possible outcome, I would still be there, God’s child.

 My emotions running amok or my mind over rationalizing can sway my soul as to what it chooses to believe or who to follow, but the final choice of who I am or who I follow are my soul’s. This is a great comfort to me.  I am in God’s hand and will be by his side in heaven if I choose to be.  My illness nor any treatment can stop that.

 September 21, 2020