For Better or For Worse

We love because he first loved us. _{1 John 4:19}

I had a hard night last night.  Let us just say I did NOT handle it stoically.  I lay in my bed weeping without quite knowing why, and my husband came in.  That should tell you something about him.  Instead of running away from my sobs like a jackrabbit being chased by a coyote, he came to me.  I looked up at him with my tear-soaked face and said, “You are just like your father.”  I don’t know what made me say that at this particular moment.  I do not recall ever saying it to him before, but in that moment my aching heart responded to his kindness with those words.

The words stunned and bewildered him.  He asked me to repeat what I had said.  I did.  This time I followed with an explanation.  Without realizing it, I had given him a compliment that he did not know how to process.

My father-in-law was an unassuming man of few words.  Unless you knew him well, you wouldn’t know how special he was.  He was a kind man, never said an ill word about anyone.  He never left a need untended.  As he did these things, he never brought any attention to himself, in fact, I remember him once telling my husband not to mention something he had done for us.  I strongly suspect that he did the same for the seven other children he loved.

Yes, he had eight children.  Like those of his generation he had many children and worked hard without complaining to care for them.  Arthur did much more than this.  His wife was, sadly, was very ill for many years.  She was a very lovely woman I am told.  I came into the family much too late to get to meet her, but my husband loved her with all he had.  His eyes shine when he speaks of her to this day.  My father-in-law’s did as well.  He cared for her and his children without protest, faithfully, lovingly.  In this, Paul has always respected and admired his father.

As many of you know, I have been ill for quite a while now.  I am not an ideal patient.  Paul is not an ideal caretaker, but his love radiates from everything he does.  When we were rebuilding our home after the fire, I was in the hospital, again.  Paul took the reins and supervised the project.  During my worst times, he has kept family stresses and struggles from me.  He doesn’t advertise my infirmity or beg for help.  He just does what needs to be done and loves me and our children.  Remind you of anyone?

I have been given a gift much greater than gold.  Never once in all these years have I seriously contemplated Paul leaving me, although I’m sure there were some who said he should.  That is who he is, who his father guided him into becoming.  “For better or for worse”.  Those are not only words to Paul.  His love is enfolding, sustaining, kind.    Young love may be more attractive and exciting, but I’ll take old love any day.  I look forward to being well and spending my twilight with this man who loves me so unconditionally.  Until then, I hope to just show half of the love to him that he has wrapped me in since we married.  And I will continue to remind him that he IS just like his father!