God’s Journey for Us Home

Boy, God has a way of belting home a lesson that he is trying to teach you.  This morning’s message at church was a prime example of this. Our pastor spoke of “home” and where God might have us on this journey.  Some are in the middle of the journey, and like faithful men of old, we won’t see the promise, the “home” God has in store.  Others, however, will be blessed enough to usher it in.  The majority of us will be “middle” folks and will require strong faith to navigate our part of the story.  Our part is necessary, however, because it sets the stage for the promise to come.

 I compared this message to my life at the current time.  Most of you know that I am enduring ECT treatments to solve my depression problems and give me back my will to live.  They are hard.  Soul sucking. I want to blame God for this entire journey, and I have, only to be humbled into realizing that my illness is part of being human.  I just happened to pull a “middle” role in life.  So now I need to work at kicking this illness and doing it with grace.  As with any mental illness, the “grace” part has involved many apologies already.  I can’t always trust my emotions, and I act out of them, sometimes erroneously.

 What many of you don’t know is that there has been a much greater disruption in my life.  One that should have me reeling and questioning the goodness and wisdom of our father – but it doesn’t.  Somehow, I know that God has my best in his heart and that I can’t comprehend all of his plans.  I feel secure in that I will be okay.  I will be able to fulfill His plan for me, which I firmly believe is a “middle” plan! There is more that I am not able to disclose right now.  God is showing how he truly cares for me, and how he is really seeking to grow me in his knowledge and his love.  When I am able, I will reveal this trial God has chosen to place us under, but I do know one thing, we can handle it.  We have the Master on our side.

 God has a plan for me. This much pain and disruption has to have a greater plan involved.  I didn’t realize until this morning, however, that the end of the plan could be in my children’s or grandchildren’s hands.  My job may just be to set the example.  To be the middle.  That takes away a lot of the frustration I’ve been feeling.  My trust in God has increased.  If I am to be a “middle”, I will be the best “middle” it is possible for me to be.  What does the song say?  “All for Jesus, I Surrender”