Lessons From Roland

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” Proverbs 12:25

Today I was discussing how we learn by getting burned sometimes.  In this scenario, we do not repeat an action if it has painful results. I realized that I have been learning this from Roland and not realizing it.

 Lately, we have been trying to get him to stop barking at the front window every time another dog goes by.  It is incredibly annoying.  He “yip, yip, yips” at the front window, scratching at it like he might make it through the glass.  It happens EVERY TIME ANOTHER DOG GOES BY!  One day, Paul and I had had enough and decided to take some training advice from another dog mom in the neighborhood.

 I went and bought training treats and a squirt bottle.  We call this the TTT method (trick or treat training).  So far it is working well.  Now, a dog takes a little longer to get the concept of consequences, but Roland is a quick study.  He hates water, so the squirt bottle worked well.  All he does is see it now and he stops in his tracks.  The treats are for when he gets quiet and now, he will get in that window, look at the treats and come quietly to me to be rewarded.

 Why can’t I get this concept through my own brain?  I repeat and repeat painful situations and do nothing to alleviate and avoid the pain with different actions.  (Maybe Roland in his unconditionally loving mind does get this more quickly?)  My therapist tells me that I react to situations too quickly and sometimes overreact or miss cues consequently.

 I am tired of the emotional roller coaster.  I am tired of thinking the world is out to get me.  These are painful and I might have learned to avoid the pain they cause if I had dealt with them earlier.  Now it is a heavy task.  I may take a lesson from Roland and devise a TTT method of my own.  Whatever I do, it will be a kindness to myself.  The “trick” is automatic from years of practice.

 Can I unravel my own negative behavior and reactions?  Everyone seems to think that with work and a belief in myself I can.  Just like Roland, I have humans behind me who believe in me explicitly.   Hey, if Roland can do it, why can’t I?