My Heart of Stone

God has made so many promises and kept them all.  Sometimes I wonder how He can keep them straight, but He is God, so I’m sure that isn’t a problem!  I, however, need to be in His word constantly so that I remember who He is and what He means to me and my life.  Just like the medication that flows through my brain, God’s word needs to be flowing through my heart and soul.  Both for the same reason, to keep me at my best and not falling into a spiral of illness.

 I have been holding my heart from God recently.  I have been turning my back and saying, “I can do this myself”.  All that has resulted is exhaustion and a brewing anger under my smile.  Why can’t I turn to God and let Him help me with this? He knows I am ill and that I struggle. I know that He can help me, even if that means “help” and not “cure”.  He can give me strength that I need and keep me from harming myself.  There are voices, spiritual, not literal, that would like to see me do that.

 This blog keeps me in His word and keeps me pondering it.  I know that it really doesn’t get read, but that is okay.  It is an outlet for me, and a place for me to consider my beliefs.  My poor husband, as understanding as he is, has had to listen to me for too long.  I try not to bring spiritual crises to him anymore.  I know he hurts when I am hurting and worries about my mental state a lot.

 The verse I have picked today is a wonderful promise from God and reminds me that there is hope.  There is always hope, even when my stony heart feels like it will crumble. I am thankful beyond words for that hope today.

 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

Ezekiel 36:26