Of Peers and Visions

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

                                                Jeremiah 29:11

Now that the blog is online, my mind has gone blank as to what I could write about.  Fortunately, my email solved that problem.  The email I received was an invitation to join a Virtual Town Hall discussing best practices in implementing technology and increasing access to quality care in mental health.  I am not what you would call a “techie”, but I am familiar enough with my computer (and have access to multiple techies whom I birthed) that the effects of COVID on receiving care was ameliorated. 

What caught me on this invitation was the term “peer”.  I see it so often and it is used in so many arenas.  When I first started mental health treatment, being or being with a peer didn’t have much meaning to me.  Now the concept not only has great meaning but comes with great responsibility.  Meaning in that being a peer means that I have shared experiences with others and can relate in a way that I can’t with others.  Responsibility in that our particular histories can help to improve the lives of the others and should be shared.

Where I encounter my peers also makes huge difference in how I relate to them.  These are only two subgroups.

Secular Peers:  These are the ones I interact with daily.  We share our own lives with one another and give insight and ideas as to how we can work through problems – especially problems relating to our illness.

Spiritual Peer:  This is where things get murky for me.  As I’ve thought about this category, it seems to me that I don’t know anyone who fits it or have only briefly met a few.  I do have some overlap from my Secular Peers who are Christians, but we do not have long discussions on how our spiritual life and love of Jesus affect our mental health.

Wow! Huh?  I have belonged and gone to church for most of my adult life.  Why don’t I know any other members who are Spiritual Peers?  Some of my experiences in a former church may help explain.

I was newly diagnosed and really a mess.  Being an “over-sharer”, I thought that it was wonderful that I was a part of a body that loved God and looked after each other.  I was incredibly open about my illness and asked for prayer constantly.  I went to an offshoot of this church that was supposed to promote spiritual wellness.  After about 5 years I had to leave both.  So much had happened during that time, but I was never really embraced.  Others prayed for me because I think they felt it was their duty.  Two otherwise lovely ladies in this church visited me once when I was in the hospital.  During this period of time, I was in psych hospitals over 20 times.  When I mentioned that I had felt alone during this time they chastised me, reminding me of their visit.  No one else from the church ever came to visit or assist my husband, not even the pastor.  I was a pariah after this.  No one would let me volunteer or become a part of any group within the church.  I finally had to leave.  I don’t think these were evil people, but they had no understanding of what mental illness was and no interest really in learning. 

I have a hard time not sharing my illness, my struggles, my successes.  This is mainly because of how much I’ve learned in the secular groups about just how much having peers to listen to and lean on means.  The world in general has grabbed a hold of something the spiritual world would benefit from.  The understanding of mental illness and general acceptance and support of people (clinicians and peers alike) is something the spiritual world needs to embrace.

I have a bit of a vision.  Not a metaphysical, rainbows and diamonds in the sky vision, but one of those ideas that hits your heart and embeds itself there.  I don’t really know how it will flesh itself out, but I am becoming more vocal with my church leadership in my new church.  Haven’t plopped down the “big idea” yet, but after feeling things out, I believe these people are more receptive.

Spiritual people with mental illnesses need to be able to share and encourage each other.  We aren’t unicorns.  I know that there must be others in my church who suffer with a mental illness, statistically it would be impossible for there not to be!  However, we have been shamed into silence for so long that no one wants to admit it.  We need our peers.

My idea is simple.  I want to start a peer group for Christians (basically because I am Christian.  The idea would work for most faiths).  I would love to be able to walk into a room and share ideas and experiences with other Christian peers.  We have a different worldview than those in my secular groups and being in a group where we “get each other” mentally and spiritually could help us immensely. 

I have found that many of the secular tools I have learned have spiritual uses that I’d love to share.  I’d love to learn about how another spiritual peer handles issues in her life in light of Scripture.  This is one of the biggest hurdles for mental health acceptance.  I’m not looking to eradicate ignorance of mental health issues in the church (that’s coming later!).  What I want to do is to give hurting people a soft place to fall, a place to meet and talk with their peers and hopefully have them become our friends.

Thanks for listening.  I know that God did not give me a heart for all of my peers for no reason.  The idea may have come from Him, but I need to carry the ball.  I’m still not sure exactly how my vision will play out, but I’m going to keep putting it out there until someone hears me.