Why?

Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned.

Romans 5:12

Ok, I am going to dive in deep today – most likely too deep!  I was sitting at home alone today because my husband has been away this week.  Thoughts I haven’t entertained in a long time started to flood my brain.  I have been doing well in finding ways to help my scattered mind through my latest bout of depression.  I’ve been focused on healing for a long time now.  I see myself as a drowning person, up for one moment to gasp air, then down under the waters again.  In times like these, the last question is “why?”  Well, I have been feeling well enough and coping solidly enough to entertain this question now.  Why am I ill?  What did I do to deserve this illness?  Most importantly, Does God see me here and care that I am ill?

I am not a trained theologian!  I opened my Bible and dug (thanks to God for parallel and topical Bibles!)  My answers here are the ones that I have found for myself and I hope they are theologically sound.  I was satisfied with what I perceived to be the answers to my questions.

There are so many forms of illness in this world and no one is immune from any form.  I forget sometimes that I will die at some point, so being frustrated at illness is kind of amusing. (At least I thought so!)  It is part of the world we live in, a broken world injured by sin in the Garden of Eden.  Man did it to himself/herself.  We couldn’t follow ONE direction.  If you doubt that statement, go into a kindergarten class and tell the children they can’t use the bathroom.  You’ll laugh out loud at what happens.  This disobedience, however, was not amusing or cute.  God had put Adam and Eve into PERFECTION…  There was no illness, no death.  Having been given free will, Eve still allowed herself to be teased by the serpent into disobeying that one rule.  Then Adam agreed to follow her into that disobedience.  The blaming started and Adam and Eve were thrown out of companionship with God into a world full of illness, death, and blackness.

This is how illness and death came into the world.  Perfectly just.  As a parent, I have a tiny glimpse of how God might have been feeling at that point.  He is perfection and cannot abide sin, but loves us unfathomably. The pain must be numbing.

Don’t worry, I’m not leaving things here!  To summarize:  perfect world, sinless
Adam and Eve.  Disobedience.  Sin, illness, and death.

Or as a much more talented writer put it:

For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.

                                                                        Romans 5:17

Whoops!  I gave away the ending.

Our minds can lead us anywhere we allow them to go.  When I first asked myself “why?” earlier today, there were many directions I could let my mind wander.  I am thankful that I happened to hear someone discussing the Garden of Eden earlier today.  When that question emerged, I started digging.  I have learned that I should use my Bible carefully and thoughtfully.  I make mistakes in how I interpret some scriptures, but being in a Christian community, I can usually expect to receive instruction if I am way off target.

To get back to the original question:  sickness came into the world with the fall.  Because of that fall, the world is broken, and our bodies are broken.  Just as we partake of the fall with Adam, we will be restored to wholeness with Christ.  Just as Adam’s disobedience took him out of Eden, we will live eternally with Christ because of His obedience.  What we have to do is to look at both Adam and Christ and decide which way we want to go and commit ourselves to it. I hope we all fall into God’s grace.

I struggle with mental illness.  Others struggle with cancer or physical disabilities.  I know one thing:  I will think twice the next time I feel sorry for myself for having an illness that will be life-long.  Being born into this world I was going to have suffered in my life regardless.  Here is the tough part for me.  My illness is not directly my fault.  I did not choose it.  HOWEVER – I am a sinner living in an imperfect world.  This makes me subject to just about any illness out there.  Hope I haven’t lost anyone!

This is my favorite part.  A verse that I have loved for a long time.  It explains how a good, loving God helps us in this broken world:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

                                                            2 Corinthians 1 3:4

He comforts us and we comfort others with that same comforting love from God.  We are not alone, no matter how alone we feel.  We can always look up and call “Abba, Father”.

So here we are at the end of my verbal meanderings for today.  I hope you enjoyed them.  I only expected to answer the “why?”  I never expected to get the “how” and the “in the meantime”  God bless each of you that reads my very imperfect thoughts.  I hope your day is greatly blessed.