Author Archives: rolandsmommy59

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief! “    Mark 29:4 I’m still stuck in that “place that shall not be named” but managed to do a few jobs today.  I spoke with my psychiatrist last night and as always, was calmed and settled by the end of the conversation. Continue reading “Kickin’ Around”

Oh, wow.  Yesterday and today have knocked me down to my knees.  I don’t know how to get up.  An event occurred that I wanted so much to fix, and I couldn’t.  The person I love is struggling and I feel like it is my fault, my own uselessness an anchor around his neck.  NowContinue reading “Blackness”

Another dies in bitterness of soul, never having enjoyed anything good.                                                                              Job 21:25 I thought that my next post would be something witty, funny, and light.  Nothing was coming through.  Instead, I have been reliving times of my life and encounters with people that were far from funny.  My doctors call it rumination.  It is horribleContinue reading “Well, This One Won’t Be Funny…”

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.                                                                                     Matthew 11:28 The Holidays are coming!!  The holidays are coming.  the holidays are coming… I love Thanksgiving and Christmas.  The only real warmth I feel from my childhood comes from these times.  While I don’t remember many of theContinue reading “Yeah!! Holidays!!”

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.                                                                                       Psalm 34:18 Light is stark.  Light is bold.  Light is basic.  Painful to look at directly, however, when it travels through a prism it is transformed into the elements it is created from.  Colorful and complicated.  I am here, nearly a month afterContinue reading “Prisms”

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.                                      Psalm 40:3 I’ve started listening to ’70 music as I drive in the car.  Soft rock with haunting melodies and heart-wrenching lyrics.  This was what IContinue reading “Blame it on Baby James”

Thank you Judith Viorst The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, And saves those who are crushed in spirit                                       Psalm 34:18     It has been a week since my father has died and I keep expecting it to get incrementally better each day.  Those of you who have mourned a loved one are permitted toContinue reading “Bethann and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.                              Colossians 3:21 My father died last night.  I feel numb.  No pain, no anger, no sadness, just numb.  At one point I considered him a positive influence in my life, but that time has passed.  He died in his late 80’s.  I’d almostContinue reading “GLM”

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.                                                 Jeremiah 29:11 Now that the blog is online, my mind has gone blank as to what I could write about.  Fortunately, my email solved thatContinue reading “Of Peers and Visions”

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 For this post I am using notes that I wrote as I went through another course of ECT last fall. Reading through this I remember allContinue reading “Keeping Records”